I often find myself analyzing the benefits and drawbacks of social media with some individuals whom I consider social media aficionados and others who don?t even have social media accounts. As a casual social media user myself I can see both perspectives but there is one thing I am sure about: Social media has helped me build and maintain relationships. In fact, it has contributed in different ways to various levels of relationships.
For my close friends, social media allows me to stay up with what is going on in their lives in between the opportunities we have to talk or hang out. This allows us to launch right into specific and substantive conversations when we get together instead of spending time ?catching up? on all the general things that have happened over the last few weeks or months. For example, I can ask about their experience at an event or their opinion on a particular article they may have read. This allows me to maximize time on the deep and important conversations with close friends.
For friends that I care about but do not have a close relationship with, the speed of social media allows me to invest in them in a genuine, yet time-efficient way. We do not have to schedule a time for coffee or lunch for me to know what is on their mind and how I can be helpful or supportive. It only takes a few minutes on Facebook for me to learn that someone has a new job and then I can mail him or her a congratulatory card. Without social media, it could have been months or even a year before I found out that news. Also, it only takes a few seconds to ?like? someone?s post on Facebook, which is an easy way to show affirmation for what that person is saying or feeling.
For surface-level acquaintances, social media gives me the tool to stay loosely engaged even though they may not be key relationships at this point in my life. Most of these individuals will not become close friends, but I often find it extremely helpful to be able to reach out to specific individuals if the appropriate opportunity arises. Without social media, I would not know what their current interests are or where to find them to be able to connect with them for those opportunities.
Social media has two additional relationship-building benefits.
The first is that social media keeps relationships at the forefront of my mind. Everything about social media is interaction between people. The tweets, posts, etc., all come from people who I know or care about. When I check social media sites, all of these individual relationships are at the top of my mind.
The second is that social media helps me with long-distance relationships. When colleagues or friends move away, it can be difficult to stay in touch, despite my best intentions. I have found that social media allow me to stay in touch with these individuals without too much extra effort. All social media messages show up the same, regardless of their geographic proximity. This allows me to interact with people who I will never see at the local grocery store or workplace water cooler.
All this being said, not all quality relationships require social media, and there is some information that needs to be shared with close friends in person or by phone. Social media is merely one communication tool that I have found helpful as I strive to grow and maintain a wide variety of relationships.
? Mike Goorhouse is vice president of donor development at the Community Foundation of the Holland/Zeeland Area. Contact him at mgoorhouse@gmail.com.
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